Surprise!!!

Hello! I am SO HAPPY to FINALLY announce that my boutique on ASOS Marketplace has GONE LIVE!!! YES, I am actually a part of the ASOS family and I even have an account manager lol. It has been so hard to keep this secret and I thank God and I thank my family and friends for all of their support. I also want to thank Detroit Sewn for being so amazing and for doing a beautiful job and sewing my chokers!  

For all of you who may not be familiar with the ASOS brand and with ASOS Marketplace then I will explain it for you. “The ethos of ASOS Marketplace is to provide a platform to support emerging and established boutique businesses. ASOS Marketplace is a fashion website which provides a platform for boutiques which are small businesses selling their own label, vintage collections or multi brands…”[1]

I cannot stress enough how amazing it is that I was chosen because since ASOS is such a prestigious brand etc.  “only a very small percentage of those that apply to be boutique sellers are successful.”[2] It honestly feels like my life is a fairy tale. To say I am blessed, highly favored, and thankful, is truly an understatement.

Link to my boutique: https://marketplace.asos.com/boutique/kay-kays-fashion

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[1] “Terms of Use.” ASOS Marketplace, Asos.com Ltd, marketplace.asos.com/help/terms-and-conditions.

[2] “Frequently Asked Questions.” ASOS Marketplace, Asos.com Ltd, marketplace.asos.com/help/faq-boutiques#how-do-I-start-a-boutique.

National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month: Kheris Rogers’ Bullying Story

Kheris Rogers is not yet a teenager but she is already the founder and owner of Flexin’ In My Complexion. Flexin’ In My Complexion is an amazing company that promotes feeling amazing in the skin one is in. Rogers started her business after being bullied for her skin tone and in honor of National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, I would love to share Rogers’ story.  Kay Kay’s Way thanks, Rogers and her sister Taylor Pollard for agreeing to share Rogers’ bullying story with us and our readers. Enjoy!  

Kay Kay’s Way: Please describe your bullying experience?

Rogers: I went to a predominately white school (there were only two other black kids in my class) and I have been bullied for my skin complexion since I started the first grade. It was then that I started getting teased by children for having a darker complexion that they did. There was even an incident where my teacher (who was not a person of color) gave me a black crayon instead of a brown one to color myself. It was at that school where I started to become uncomfortable in my skin. I would come home crying all the time wishing I was lighter. I felt this way because I thought that the only reason the students and teacher acted differently towards me because I had a darker complexion than everyone else. In the second grade, I transferred to a more diverse school in my neighborhood in hopes that I would not deal with the bullying that I faced at my previous school. However, despite the school being more diverse, I was now being teased by other black children who were either lighter than me or just as dark as me.

Kay Kay’s Way: How did your bullying experience affect you?

Rogers: Being bullied for something that I cannot change made me feel uncomfortable in my skin. It made me wish that if I was lighter, people would stop teasing me and stop trying to make me feel bad for having chocolate skin. However, there have been so many people supporting me and sending me sweet messages on social media. These kind acts have helped my confidence because I know that I am not alone. Now I feel like it is not just my family that has my back, but a whole community of people.

Kay Kay’s Way: What advice would you give to people dealing with bullying?

Rogers: If you are dealing with bullying, do not be afraid to stand up for yourself and do not be afraid to speak up. Ever since I started speaking out, I feel so much better. Holding how you really feel in is not a good feeling. There have been adults commenting on my pictures or videos saying that I am just overly sensitive and that colorism is not real. However, since I found my voice, I do not care about anyone’s opinion anymore. I know that colorism is real because I have experienced it all my life and I am going to continue to speak out about it.

P.S: Colorism is very real. Please CLICK HERE to learn more about what colorism is.

Kay Kay’s Way: What advice would you give to people who are bullying others?

Rogers: To people that are bullying others, you should take the time to think about how you make the other person feel. You should think about if what you are about to say or do to another person is even necessary. My mom always told me, "Treat people how you want to be treated."

Kay Kay’s Way would like to thank Rogers for sharing her experience with our readers. Please CLICK HERE to read my previous interview with Rogers. Also, to keep up with Rogers, please follow @kherispoppin on Instagram.

Photo of Rogers: Photo taken by Taylor Pollard.

ME TOO

Hello!  I have been really inspired by all of the women sharing their stories of sexual harassment and/or assault. I want to share this story and I have only told a few people about this story. I remember being a ninth grader in Biology class during my first semester of ninth grade when this happened. I was so naïve and innocent that I didn’t even realize that I have been sexually harassed. I suffered from PTSD after high school and this is one of the incidents that contributed to it (I know this due to counseling).

I remember sitting down at my desk and I was working. This bully (who bullied me throughout high school) had his crotch pressed up against my desk. This bully when he thought nobody but me would notice made sexual motions towards his crotch. For decency sake, I will not go into further detail but it was very vulgar. Myself and another student were shocked at such a vulgar display. I wish I could tell you that I stood up for myself and that I told someone. However, I would be lying if I said that. I just put my head down and continued working I NEVER SPOKE ABOUT THE INCIDENT until 2017.

To make matters worse this bully secretly had a crush on me (more on that latter) but he was ashamed and angry that I was a black girl who was not part of his group so he took out his anger on me. He was also angry that his “friends” would tease him about how “I liked him” and he would even play dumb and act like he would never go out of his way to speak to me.

Put yourself in my position for a minute. Being bullied sucks but imagine the person who bullied you being the same person who had one point sexually harassed you.  I was a young black girl getting consistently bullied by a racist with a (low-key) black-girl fetish who had sexually harassed her. Honestly, it is no wonder that I got PTSD… I never coped with my feelings until after high school.

Today is the first day that I publicly spoke out about the incident and I am doing this to take away the shame that comes with being sexually harassed and/or assaulted. It is so sad that almost every woman has been sexually harassed and we need to fight this.

CLICK HERE to learn what sexual harassment actually is 

National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month: High School Status

Hello! This post is part of my series for National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month. If you have not seen my original post them please CLICK HERE and read it! This post is going to be relatively quick, but the message will hopefully enlighten my high school and younger readers. This post is about how high school is super fickle.

I remember when I was in law school, one of my classmates would always say “this ain’t real life.” I think this saying applies perfectly to high school. I hate to break it to some of you popular snobs, but … your high school status has a time limit. Once you graduate high school, your status will mean NOTHING. In addition, if you try to hold onto your status you will look like… AN IDIOT. In the real world, your status is based on legitimate things like your education, job, accomplishments, and etc.

If you do not believe me when I talk about high school status being fickle, then I will use my life as an example. In high school, I WAS NOT POPULAR. I was not at the bottom of the barrel and I had a group of friends, but I did not have a lot of status. I was not considered pretty and I was not considered the smartest person in my graduating class. I know that some people reading this might be shocked when I say that I wasn’t considered the smartest person in my graduating class so I will break this down for you. There were a lot of really smart people in my grade. SO, even though I graduated with high honors, got accepted to Michigan State University, got accepted to the University of Michigan, it still was not as amazing as some other people’s resumes.  

In contrast was a person that we will refer to as the devil’s apprentice lol. I call this bully by this name for legal and privacy reasons and because the name fits him (more on him in a later post).  Well, this bully was at the top one percent of popularity if you may. This person was the most popular of the popular. Needless to say, this devil had plenty of status.

Flash forward to today and I AM THE ONE WITH THE STATUS and NOT HIM. Now, I am not saying that the devil’s apprentice is living in a box. He graduated from college and is working a 9 to 5. However, HE DOES NOT HAVE STATUS … ESPECIALLY COMPARED TO THE STATUS HE ENJOYED IN HIGH SCHOOL. I on the other hand as I stated earlier have status. For example:

·     I am a celebrity interviewer

·     I have been to every continent including Antarctica before I turned 22.

·     I am a legal researcher for an Ivy League school (Columbia University to be exact)

·     I have a SUCCESSFUL BLOG

·     I interact with many notable people on the regular

·     I am a CEO

·     I graduated college in three years

·     I got my JD at the age of 23

·     I started my LLM at the age of 23

·     I have lots of influence and power

·     …. And the list continues!

So, there you have it! Do not be so in your feelings about your high school status because all of it does not last. Instead, work on making a future for yourself where you can have legitimate status like I have. Peace! 

National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month: Insecure Bullies

Hello! This post is part of my series for National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month. If you have not seen my original post them please CLICK HERE and read it! This post is going to be relatively quick, but= the message will hopefully enlighten my high school and younger readers. This post is about how bullies are insecure people. I remember when I was in high school, there were a group of popular teens that were very snobby, racist, and would bully other people. As a teen, I (like many others at my high school) subconsciously or consciously respected these people and looked up to them. It never occurred to me that these people were deeply insecure and problematic. Looking back as an adult I can now see what should have been painfully obvious to me them—people who bully are not content with themselves…they have the lowest self-esteem out of everyone.  No one who is comfortable with themselves would waste their time bullying someone else. I will even take that statement a step further and say that even many people with low self-esteem would not waste their time bullying other people. People that bully need to feel superior to someone or something and they think that by bullying people it makes them superior. So, the next time you see a bully or are being bullied just remember that the bully does not have it together AT ALL. This is not someone who you need to care about in any capacity so just go along your day being the amazing person you are! 

NATIONAL BULLYING PREVENTION AWARENESS MONTH!!!!!!!!

Note: Make sure you click on the links that are sprinkled throughout this post. These links will further educate you.

Introduction

Hey guys! I understand that I have been MIA and I REALLY apologize for that. Between school, writing, studying for my bar exam, living, and working on Kay Kay’s Fashion, I have had little to no time to update my blog. So, I am SO SORRY for being MIA and I promise that this month I will be WAY more active.  This month is very special to me. This month is NATIONAL BULLYING PREVENTION AWARENESS MONTH! If you have followed me for a good amount of time, you will know that I take bullying very seriously and have drawn awareness to this epidemic as my platform has grown and increased.

Background information on National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month

“This month, across the world, from New York to New Zealand, thousands of schools, communities, organizations, and individuals will come together to release new resources, campaigns, and efforts aimed at raising awareness for bullying prevention. Nearly a decade old, Bullying Prevention Awareness month was initiated by PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center in October 2006. Since it began, the event has grown to an entire month of education and awareness activities and is being recognized by schools and communities throughout the world. PACER recognized that students, parents, and people around the world need to become more aware of the serious consequences of bullying…PACER developed National Bullying Prevention Month to raise awareness and also to change the culture around bullying, which was historically considered a childhood rite of passage. “We know that bullying can lead to school avoidance, decreased self-esteem, depression, and even self-harm,” said Julie Hertzog, director of PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center. “Bullying intervention and prevention is something in which everyone can play an important role.”[1]

Is bullying really an epidemic?

There is a lot more awareness on bullying today than there ever was before. You have celebrities like Demi Lovato who have used their platform to constantly speak out against bullying. There are also shows like, 13 Reasons Why, that depict teen suicide that stemmed from bullying. Also, there are also many stories about teens who have committed suicide from bullying and it seems like the age of these children is just getting younger and younger.

Now, I understand that many people may say that calling bullying an epidemic is just a gross exaggeration… well, I beg to differ. “Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for 5-to-14-year-olds.”^[2] In addition, bullying has been shown to contribute to teen suicide as studies have shown that, “for the most part, youth involved in bullying in any capacity – both bullies and victims of bullying – were more likely to think about and attempt suicide than youth who were not involved in bullying. In short, bullying is bad for everyone involved.”[3]

Why do you personally care about bullying so much?

I care about bullying because I dealt with bullying as a teenager. The bullying was so traumatic that I developed PTSD as soon as I left high school. By the grace of God, I was able to overcome and become very successful. I want to share my story and remind children and teens that it gets better and you can not only end doing decently, but you can end up being more than a conqueror like myself.

What should readers expect from Kay Kay’s Way during this month?

Readers should expect various educational posts and even an interview here or there. This month will be very inspiring and should serve as an educational and motivational tool for everyone. Also, this is something that Kay Kay's Way plans to do each October so expect something bigger next year! 

To learn more about bullying please CLICK HERE. Also, if you are feeling suicidal please CLICK HERE and get help. Finally, if you need someone to talk to then CLICK HERE. 

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[1] Hertzog, Julie, and Sally Harris. “October Is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month.”StopBullying.gov, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 5 Oct. 2015, www.stopbullying.gov/blog/2015/10/05/october-national-bullying-prevention-awareness-month.

[2] Teen Suicide, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Oct. 2013, www.aacap.org/aacap/families_and_youth/facts_for_families/Facts_for_Families_Pages/Teen_Suicide_10.aspx.

[3] Holt, Melissa. “Bullying and Suicide: What's the Connection?” The Conversation, The Conversation US, Inc., 17 Sept. 2017, theconversation.com/bullying-and-suicide-whats-the-connection-82353.

Happy Nigerian Independence Day!!!!

Sophie Elgort: The Genius Behind the Lens

Growing up, I loved to read fashion magazines

I really liked learning about the new fashion trends and I obsessed over what my favorite celebrities were wearing. One thing that stuck out to me the most about these fashion magazines were how the images never failed to captivate me. These images were well crafted and would convey so many messages that sometimes moved me to my core. The ability to convey messages and tell a story is what I love most about photography. I love fashion so naturally; the combination of fashion and photography is very interesting to me.

One of the most talented fashion photographers in the business is Sophie Elgort. Elgort has been featured in countless publications including Town & Country, has photographed many notable people including Kendall and Kylie Jenner for Teen Vogue, and in 2016, made the Forbes 30 Under 30 list. On top of all of that, Elgort even co-founded a nonprofit called Through Our Lens, Inc. I know you will be extremely inspired when you read this interview. Enjoy!

KAY KAY: You are an amazing photographer and we really admire your work! How did you get started being a photographer and what inspired you to pursue your dreams?

Elgort: Thank you! I grew up doing photography as a hobby since my dad, Arthur Elgort is a photographer so I was inspired by him. I was also lucky because I was always allowed to go on his shoots with him. It wasn’t until after college that I had an opportunity to do my first professional photo shoot. The shoot was for a company that my friends had started because they needed photos and knew I was always taking pictures. From there, people saw the photos I took and I started to slowly get more jobs. A few years into it, I decided that I had enough work to work full-time and I could give up my other job.

KAY KAY: What was the hardest part about becoming a photographer?

Elgort: It is always hard when you are starting out with something new. You need to develop a body of work that you can show people.  In addition, you are also developing your eye and finding your look. Then, you also need to make sure people can find you and your work. It is not only about taking the pictures, but you also need to put yourself out there.

KAY KAY: What do you love the most about being a photographer?

Elgort: I love how many interesting and inspiring people I get to collaborate with on a daily basis including the subject, stylist, creative director, hair, makeup, assistants and etc.

KAY KAY: Our readers love fashion and many of them would like to be a part of the fashion industry. As a respected photographer and a member of the fashion industry, what advice can you give our readers who would like to enter this competitive industry?

Elgort: I think you have to have a point of view and you need to show it. People will start to notice even if it is slow. If you love doing makeup, do not wait for a job to come up, practice on yourself or a friend and show it off on YouTube or Instagram. It is amazing how much you will learn and develop your craft from just doing it all the time.

KAY KAY: Can you please describe the nonprofit that you co-founded, Through Our Lens, Inc. (TOL), to our readers?

Elgort: Through Our Lens is a nonprofit for high school aged girls who are passionate about photography. Carolyn Pride and I started it to give girls who otherwise would not have access, the skills and opportunities they need to break into this tough industry.

KAY KAY: How did you get started launching TOL?

Elgort: We wanted to see more diversity behind the lens. We specifically wanted to see more women and more people from different backgrounds. Our thinking was that whoever is behind the lens can show the world through their point of view and that is really important.

KAY KAY: TOL’s goal is to increase racial, socioeconomic and gender diversity in the fashion industry. What motivated you to make this TOL’s goal? 

Elgort: As I was saying above, whoever is behind the lens often dictates who is in front of the lens. We want the stories being told to be told by people from many different backgrounds.

KAY KAY: You have been featured in many publications including, Vogue, Teen Vogue, and Town &Country. Many people dream of being featured in such prestigious publications. What has been the most memorable experience you have had in your career? Was there a specific moment that you realized that you made it?

Elgort: I still feel like my career is quite young! Even though I have been doing it for eight years, there is always something new that I want to accomplish. I believe there is definitely a lot to come! I guess a few standout moments were when I got the call saying that I had made the Forbes 30 Under 30 list in 2016, when I went on Good Morning America to talk about TOL, getting my first commission from a Vogue International publication, and being picked up by a gallery.

We would like to thank Sophie Elgort for taking the time to interview with us! CLICK HERE to check out the recent story Sophie shot for Paper Magazine. Also, be sure to follow @sophieelgort on Instagram, @SophieElgort on Twitter, and @SophieElgortStudio on Facebook.

Photos of Elgort: Sophie Elgort